


4 times Celeste Cousland’s Heart was Broken- and 1 times it swelled beyond capacity

by askarella



Series: The Warrior Women Who Saved Thedas [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Child Death, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Infant Death, Loss of Parent(s), Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 13:39:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4566657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askarella/pseuds/askarella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4 times Celeste Cousland’s Heart was Broken- and 1 times it swelled beyond capacity. Please read the tags for trigger warnings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	4 times Celeste Cousland’s Heart was Broken- and 1 times it swelled beyond capacity

4 times Celeste Cousland’s Heart was Broken- and 1 times it swelled beyond capacity

\--1—

                Celeste Cousland watched in silent heartache as her first love was married to the new King of Ferelden, the bouquet clutched in her hands the only thing keeping her from a very bad mistake. Anora was beautiful, of course, her long ash-blonde hair loose and strung with flowers, clad in a dress of such a pale purple that it seemed white. She looked at Cailan with adoration as she said her vows, the sentiment returned in his eyes and expression. They kissed and a tear escaped from Celeste’s eyes, and most people would assume that it was for the beauty of the moment.

                The assembled crowd cheered, as did the women behind Celeste, the sound falling upon deaf ears as she shut the world out. The others who had been part of the ceremony departed slowly, a pair of bridemaids holding Anora’s train for her as she followed Cailan out of the Chantry.

No one noticed that Celeste was still at the altar, her calloused fists trembling as she refused to let her tears fall. Anora had been destined to be queen, just as Celeste was destined to become a warrior, but still… her heart ached for what could have been, had she been born a male. The Revered Mother laid a hand on her shoulder, and they stood side by side for a time, Celeste’s knees eventually giving out as she let out a sobbing wail of heartbreak.

She was thirteen years old, as tall as the Queen, and her heart was in pieces.

\--2—

                Celeste had been shocked awake, but why? Ser Barker was growling at her door, and a childlike scream was in her ears. A skirmish, a dead servant in her bedroom, and then she was outside it, fighting with her dulled waraxe and killing for the first time, her smallclothes soaked with blood. Her mother was safe, but what of the scream still echoing in her ears? Where had it come from?

She ran to Fergus’s room, but the worst had happened- Oren was slain, his mother’s corpse beside him- it seemed as though Oren had tried to protect his mother with his own body, though he was barely older than six. Celeste pulled her nephew’s corpse into her arms and kissed his forehead, not letting her mother see the tears that slid down her face as she held his too-light body.

                Howe would pay for this, she vowed to herself as she pulled on her armor and fastened Ser Barker’s collar, tears stinging his eyes. She fought her way through the castle, her Mother by her side, killing so many men, men from her father’s best friend… why would he do this?

                She reached her Father, but he was dying, and so would she. Fergus was safe, already on the road, but how could she leave her family? Her mother told her to leave, that she would hold off the men as Celeste escaped with Duncan, and she tried to resist, but her parents insisted.

                As she ran through the tunnels with Duncan and Ser Barker, she cried for her family, for the life she had lost to betrayal. When they reached safety she climbed into Duncan’s cot and cried into his chest, her sobs echoing in the cave they had decided to camp in. He stroked her hair and she cried, vowing to herself that she would never, ever let anyone see her like this again, that she would never be this weak again.

\--3—

                As soon as he said it, she knew that they were doomed. He was the son of Maric, of course he was. He had his hair and his good looks and his charm, and Celeste’s heart shattered. They made their way into Redcliffe and he insisted that it wouldn’t change anything between them, but of course it did. It changed everything. She could never be Queen, she was a warrior above all else, Howe’s betrayal had sealed that fate for her.

                They fought off the undead and Celeste flirted with Teagan, a man she could very well have ended up married to, and she listened to Morrigan and Alistair banter back and forth as Leliana sighed at the sight of them. As they fought through the castle she kept the thought of their impending end foremost in her mind. Even as they saved Connor she kept thinking about how precious her time with him was, and she treasured it.

                They fucked when Eamon was saved, dirtying the sheets of the castle many a time, and afterwards she cried to herself while he slept. She cried softly into Sten’s chest as Alistair was groomed for the Landsmeet, the Qunari letting her sob as Morrigan rubbed her back. When she agreed to his marriage to her first love, to her Anora, it was as though the wound had been cauterized, and though it hurt, she knew it would heal.

                Perhaps it was because she loved Anora and Alistair both, perhaps that was why she was fine with it- two parts of her shattered heart reunited with her own aid. In camp she traded anecdotes about Anora with Loghain, Sten by her side more now than ever. The Qunari never left her, except in the final battle- then he was with everyone but she, Loghain, Morrigan, and Leliana. He kissed the top of her head as she bid him farewell, his way of wishing her well.

\--4—

                She stumbled into Skyhold, blood leaking from her womanhood, a blood-stained bundle in her arms and a desperate expression on her face. Celeste managed to hand the bundle to a stunned Leliana and mumble “Save her… please…” before collapsing on the stone floor, Morrigan catching her before she could hit her head on it.

                When she awoke, Leliana was watching her from a doorway with a cold expression of concern, and Morrigan was holding her hand, Kieren asleep in her lap. “my baby…” Celeste croaked out. “My little girl… is she… did you save her?” Her voice was hoarse and her expression desperate.  

                Morrigan kissed the hand she was holding and stroked her friend’s face with her free hand “Our best healing mage is working to save her, my friend.” She rubbed the hand gently with her thumb. “Though he was quite incredulous to learn that your daughter is half-qunari…” She laughed then quieted. “The Nightingale and I were frightened by your sudden appearance… we did not think to ever see you here of all places… Seheron, perhaps, or by the side of our old friend and your husband, but not here, not Skyhold.”

                A bald elf entered the room, a small bundle of lavender cloth in his arms, his expression grim. “I am sorry.” He said in a quiet voice, placing the bundle in Celeste’s lap. “She was too small, too new… there was nothing I could have done to save her.” He had been crying, Celeste could tell, and in the back of her mind she wondered why he cared for the fate of her child.

                Celeste freed her hand and picked up the bundle, a single tear falling down her tattooed cheek as she stroked the pink cheek of her daughter, too cold to be living. “This time there was a corpse… at least I got that much…” She kissed the babe’s forehead, her jaw trembling. “Her siblings were barely even formed when I lost them… she makes five… thank you, Ser, for trying to save my little Asala Eleanor… ”

                The elf turned his eyes to the ground. “I am sorry for your loss.”

                Celeste snorted, climbing out of the bed, bundle still in her arms. “Tis not your fault, tis mine.” She laughed bitterly. “I’m foolish to keep trying for a child with my Sten, for he is a Qunari and I am a human, and a Grey Warden at that.”

                A blonde, pale boy appeared in the room, sitting on a table beside Leliana, his watery eyes blinking too much to be comfortable. “But you’re not a Warden… the Cure was inside you, all along…” He blinked at Celeste. “To have a child with the one you love, something pure and true like that eliminates the taint- had your lover been a Warden he would be cured too… this one was old enough to rid you of the Taint… you’re free.”

                Celeste laughed a sob, smiling weakly at the boy. “Thank you, little one…” She cradled her dead child until a burning casket was crafted for it, her friends staying by her side and Kieren clinging to her skirts as she stifled her sobs. There was a small funeral atop the Battlements: Leliana, Morrigan, Kieren, the elven healer that Celeste had learned was named Solas, an acquaintance named Iron Bull, Loghain (who was trying his best not to look at Kieren and failing miserably), Marian Hawke, and Varric all in attendance as the pyre was lit.

                The blond boy with the watery eyes gave Celeste a charcoal sketch of her child in her lap as her Sten watched over them, and it was all she could do not to cry all over it. When she arrived back to her Sten, to the Qunari she loved who was now Arishok, he would love the sketch even more than she had.

\--1—

                The Twins come into the world with little fuss. Celeste had been supervising construction and restoration at Ostagar, her belly huge and in her way. When her water broke she scarcely noticed it, taking the labor pains for indigestion from her tea that morning. It took the Inquisitor and Cole’s fussing for her to finally let the healers look at her, and by then the first child was almost ready to be delivered.

                An hour later and the first recorded human-qunari hybrids to survive to term were in their mother’s arms. The first was a boy that she named Duncan Oren, and the second was a girl that she named Wynne Eleanor. They had tan skin and a singular tuft of blonde hair each, and Celeste loved them. Duncan was quiet and calm, whilst Wynne screamed with all the power in her lungs, and she loved them.

                Her Arishok, her beloved, he entered the tent where she had given birth, and his pale pink eyes softened at the sight of his children. “Kadan, you are fine?” He asked gruffly, reaching out to let Duncan grip his smallest finger with his hand. “They are fine?”

                She smiled at him broadly. “We are all fine… Wynne, Duncan, meet your father. He’s a big bad military leader, and I love him so much… he’s saved my ass so many times, but he loves me too, and he’s gonna love you two too.” Duncan cooed and Wynne screamed, fury in her eyes. Celeste laughed at them and stood. “I think it’s time for you two to meet your family, my little loves.”

                The pair exited the tent, the babies in Celeste’s arms. They were greeted by a cheer from their friends, and what an odd assortment of friends it was.

                Marian Hawke was standing with Fenris, their adopted dwarven daughter cheering from her place atop the elf’s shoulders; Inquisitor Evelynne Trevelyan was smiling softly at them, the Iron Bull’s arms around her small waist, the Chargers cheering from their sides; King Alistair and Queen Anora standing at the outskirts, Alistair fussing quietly over Anora’s baby bump even as she chided him; Morrigan suddenly at Celeste’s side, a thirteen year old Kieren smiling from his mother’s side and trying to look at the babies, a look of concentration on his face; Zevran and Bann Teagan sobbing into each other’s arms; a single Tamassran with as many wrinkles as scars on her face, her expression fond; Loghain watching from atop a crumbling wall… yes, there were many who wished to share in Celeste’s happiness… and she loved them all so very very much.

               As she took in the sight of all the people who loved her, she felt all the scars on her heart mend, and she felt whole. Her heart swelled past capacity and happy tears fell down her cheeks like a slowly thawing waterfall.

                Everything would be okay, she was sure of it.

**Author's Note:**

> The children were named after lost loved ones and Sten's sword. WHy? Because thats what Celeste would do.


End file.
